Field Partners Take Note: Kiva Lenders Will Tell You What "Sells."

[Guest]

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[Canadian Here]

Jill, what stands out for me is that Faleao has a skill and/or talent which not everyone else possesses, that she has a passion for for what she is doing ("since she was a child [she] has always been fascinated by the cricket ball"), and that she is carrying on with her family's traditions and savoir-faire.  "She is likely to succeed because Faleao has the potential to make it into the overseas market.": This to me says that there are people who believe in her potential and the wonderful possibilities for her future!  So why shouldn't I?

While I'm certainly no sports fanatic and I hadn't discovered Kiva yet when that loan was offered, I think I would have been very tempted to lend to her as well.  Especially because of the sense of hope for her future and success, me thinks. 

~Jackie~

Jackie:
I'm glad you "got it" when I didn't. As I said earlier, I have to understand the description, immediately. If it takes time to figure it out I usually move on to the next one, unless the photo is great and gets my attention from the get go. I usually don't lend when I don't understand some aspect of the description. Same applies to group loans when description only applies to ONE PERSON of the group. If there are 'gaps' in the description...I usually pass (e.g. 5 people in the group, full description of the way in which 1 person is going to use the loan while nothing is stated about the businesses of the other 4 people). Undoubtedly, I miss some great loans this way but my comfort zone is uncompromised. People have to do what is "right" for them. Fortunately, we have a choice when there are lots of available loans from which to choose. 
Lorna

[Jill]

This, but yet another verse in what some of you may already be regarding as that well-known if tired same old song of mine, “The Introductory Lines of the Loan Descriptions Could Stand a Lot of Improvement, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.”

Following are excerpts from some of my old Action Now: Kenya loan descriptions.  ANK consistently provides some of the very best and most informative of the loan descriptions that ever have appeared among Kiva’s offerings*. 

That said, in the following examples, I’m going to attempt to demonstrate how with the most minimal of effort, even ANK’s exemplary loan descriptions could have been improved upon.    In my modifications, which are in light blue immediately following the actual excerpts, it isn’t the wording but my placement of the especially compelling lines that I want to emphasize.   

We all know that when there are a large number of loans competing for our limited lender dollars, as lately there have been,  and when many of the Entrepreneur photographs aren’t particularly noteworthy or sufficient, in themselves, to inspire a click of that Lend button, as has been true all along, then whether the first lines of a loan that appear on Kiva’s main listing page are distinguishing, inviting or compelling enough may make all the difference in whether we’ll even bother to go to that particular Entrepreneur’s individual Profile page, let alone consider making a loan to him or her.

Louise Kanini 

“Louise Kanini is a 45-year-old woman who is married with three children. Louise is a pastor, and she stays with the unemployed people from her church. She lives in the outskirts of Nairobi in a district called Kayole. In August 2006, Louise started taking care of orphans, the destitute, and vulnerable children. She gives them food twice per week and also offers clothing to them. Taking care of all these people, she saw that she needed to increase her income to be able to provide for all their needs….”
Louise Kanini, a pastor, started taking care of orphans, the destitute and vulnerable children in August 2006.  She gives them food twice per week and offers clothing to them, also…..

Ruth Wanza Ndumbu


"Ruth Wanza Ndumbu is 40 years old and married with three grown children. Apart from her family, she cares for the elderly people in the Samburu district. Ruth started the home because elderly people are left alone when cattle rustlers kill younger people to steel their cattle. Another elderly home is beginning in Machakos town.

Ruth saved 100,000 Kenyan Shillings when she worked at a company called ICDC, and thought of starting a business that would support her home for the elderly. Being a talented tailor, she opened a shop called Kitenge Africa, which means that she specializes in African attire. Her business is located in Nairobi city center along Moi Avenue and, apart from African attire, she also makes and designs wedding gowns. She employs four people who help her make the dresses...."
Ruth Wanza Ndumbu, a talented tailor, opened a shop specializing in African attire to help support her home for the elderly.  She started the home because elderly people are left alone when cattle rustlers kill younger people to steal their cattle…..
Lilian Nyasewe    


“Lillian Achieng is 25 years old and married with two children. She also cares for her aging father, her two brothers and one sister. Lillian, who lost her mother in 2005, lives within the Kibera slums of Nairobi and operates a pharmacy cum dispensary in Kibera. Lillian started the pharmacy in early 2005 after finishing her medical training at Shirati Medical Training College from 1998 to 1999. Lillian worked in various clinics within Kibera and then worked for Amky Clinic in Mathare North, another slum area within Nairobi from 2001-2003, Grace Clinic in Huruma, an informal settlement within the city between 2003-2004 and finally at Panama Chemist in Kibera in 2005. After seeing the suffering of her neighbors in Kibera who sometimes died during the night due to scarcity of medicine and hospitals around, Lillian opened her pharmacy cum clinic in the year 2005, using money that she had set aside as savings,…”
After seeing the suffering of her neighbors in Kibera who sometimes died during the night due to scarcity of medicine and hospitals around, Lillian opened her pharmacy cum clinic in the year 2005, using money that she had set aside as savings….

and an ANK loan that is up right now….
Moses Araiya


“Moses Araiya Lemeidimi is 57 years old, married to two wives and has 12 children. He began buying and selling cattle in 1984, and continued with this business because it did very well. Soon, he had 300 cows and 120 goats, along with a large track of land on which he grew wheat and maize.

In 1985, a conflict between the samburu (Araiya’s tribe) and the pokot tribe broke out and (like Job in the Bible) Araiya’s cattle and goats were stolen and the granaries where he stored his wheat and maize were razed, along with his house. Without his cattle, Mzee Araiya Lemeidimi was reduced to the status of a beggar and had to move from Samburu to Rongai town, where he has lived on government handouts…”.
Like Job in the Bible, Araiya’s cattle and goats were stolen and the granaries where he stored his wheat and maize were razed, along with his house.  Without his cattle, Mzee Araiya Lemeidimi was reduced to the status of a beggar….

*Note:  I absolutely shamelessly selected ANK not simply because they offer some of the most comprehensive and effective loan descriptions we get to read.  But also, perhaps transparently, I was hoping I might give a bit of a bump, like Tatiana the other day, to Kiva Fellow, now KF Naomi’s ANK project   where the amount raised has not changed for at least three and a half days, no matter how many times I go there to check….

[Jill]

http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=45504

Alejandro Ramirez Cinco – Clothing Sales – Mexico

An exemplary loan presentation.  The critical, eye-catching info, highlighted here in bold, was given early enough in the loan description that it jumped off the main Kiva listing page and had my finger clicking on “More” almost before I even knew what it was doing.

If you read the description in its entirety, you will see all kinds of reasons, which I can’t now take the time to enumerate as I'm trying to get out of here*, why it’s an effective presentation.

Alejandro Ramirez is not married but he is a single father to an 8 year old boy. The boy is currently in hospital fighting a bout of leukemia. He started his business so that he can continue his studies and to support his son, who requires constant hospitalization, medicines and medical support. Seeing as he is a single father he did not have the support to help with the boy, so he took on a business. He is works only on the weekends so that he can take care of his little one. He started the busines sin April 2000, importing used clothing from the US, and that which he sold to his neighbours and family members from the garage of his house. With faith and perseverence his business started to grow, and now he has even expanded into selling new clothing in the local market.

He is requesting a loan in the amount of $975 that he will repay in a term of 6 months to refurbish his business and to purchase an air conditionner in preparation for the upcoming summer season. In this way he will be able to provide his clients with comfort.



*but perhaps someone else might?

[P, B and J]

Jackie:
I'm glad you "got it" when I didn't. As I said earlier, I have to understand the description, immediately. If it takes time to figure it out I usually move on to the next one, unless the photo is great and gets my attention from the get go. I usually don't lend when I don't understand some aspect of the description. Same applies to group loans when description only applies to ONE PERSON of the group. If there are 'gaps' in the description...I usually pass (e.g. 5 people in the group, full description of the way in which 1 person is going to use the loan while nothing is stated about the businesses of the other 4 people). Undoubtedly, I miss some great loans this way but my comfort zone is uncompromised. People have to do what is "right" for them. Fortunately, we have a choice when there are lots of available loans from which to choose. 
Lorna

Lorna,

Yup, I absolutely agree with you that people need to do what is right for them. There's not one right way or wrong way to interpret the loan write-ups, just many different "takes" on them or how they come across to each lender.  We all have different experiences that influence our perception of things too.  I just felt to give a go at my own subjective interpretation of the write-up that Jill presented and say what I saw there.  It also goes beyond my comfort level (more often than not) when the write-up on a group loan makes absolutely no mention of the other members of the group.  In that kind of a scenario I really don't feel that "less is more" can be a good thing.  It would be preferrable to at least have a summary mention of what the other group members do if they can't go into much detail on each one of the group members.  I'm with you on that!

[P, B and J]

http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=45504
Alejandro Ramirez Cinco – Clothing Sales – Mexico

Jill, that's a loan (along with many others posted above and in the forum recently) that I would have loved to have been able to participate in!  Really good write-up too!

In another thread here somewhere I also saw a good suggestion that Oli made about the loan write-ups which are translated before being put up on the Kiva website.  But it concerns more the situation after the MFI has done their creation of the loan request per se.  The translators can also play an important part in the presentation of the loan too (while of course respecting the source document's original meanings and intent etc).  Let me see if I can find it and post a link.....

[P, B and J]

......I still find it's hard to find things here sometimes.    *sigh*

http://www.kivafriends.org/index.php/topic,1951.msg27232.html#msg27232

Since the MFis don't seem to be good at putting "catch phrases" in the first line: Wouldn't it be an idea to make Kiva translators more aware of that fact and have them edit the English write up accordingly? If that means there are more translators needed, I am not sure that this will hinder the effort: I applied several times for French translations but never even heard back from Kiva. I bet there are many more that could be included...

Just an idea...

On a side note: Oli, if you read this, I've offered to volunteer for translating too.  Also never heard anything back and didn't even get an acknowledgement that they received my email.   

[Jill]

What sells?  I’ll bet you this will sell.  What an exceptional photograph!

http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=45242&_tpos=5&_tpg=2


EDIT or Why I Thought This Picture Was Exceptional....
    Quite apart from the composition, the clarity, the lighting, the color tones and all the other photography-oriented characteristics, for me, this photo :

1)  BESPEAKS COMMUNITY
2)  CELEBRATES CULTURE in depicting traditional dress, in giving us a wonderful view of the dwellings or structures of this village, so
      different from our own
3)  EXEMPLIFIES CONNECTION in showing the precious little ones, who, almost always, will be irresistible
4)  INVITES FURTHER INQUIRY in that it displays the object of the loan, the palm nuts, in such an attractive way that finally, after loan
       after loan after loan has mentioned palm nuts and palm oil, I feel compelled to do a little research to find out just exactly what is this palm
       oil "stuff" and just how big a part it plays in the lives of different peoples in various parts of the world.        Check here
                                                                                                                                         and this is just for starters.....

[redstarr]

Yeah, I didn't know what the crops in the picture were,either.  Checked the loan description, and had to google to find out all about palm oil.  I am astounded every day how Kiva can encourage me to learn new things. 
And a particularly interesting pic.  Yeah, I'm a sucker for pictures with their crop/wares/products.  And I gotta admit that the traditional tribal look is an attention getter.  It looks like a shot out of National Geographic.  And I bet those cute little ones "sell" a loan well,too.   Mothers and children are always kinda extra sweet. 

[Jill]

Generally, I stay away from group loans.  That is, unless there’s something special** about one of them that overcomes my silly prejudice-reflex against them.  Lately, I’ve found myself quite helpless in the face of some of the loans coming out of Benin. 

I’ve been so taken by the learning I’m able to do, merely by looking at the wonderful photographs.  As with the other one I posted about yesterday, look what a treasure trove of information one can garner about the architecture, the lifestyle, the culture, and the work activity, itself, merely by looking at the picture. 

Plus, I’m rather charmed by the thought that they’re seeking this loan to finance the purchase of 12 TONS of these funny looking, elongated potato-like things.   Can you imagine trying to peel TWELVE TONS of these by hand, one at a time?  They'll, likely, be able to catch everybody up on all the village gossip and then some before they get that all done.  And I also like it that the members of the group are seeking a loan, apparently, for a work activity they all engage in, together.

http://www.kiva.org/app.php?page=businesses&action=about&id=45113

MISSEFAN AGADON Group – Agriculture - Benin

The present micro-project concerns the transformation of cassava root into cassava flour, called gari in Benin. This project is the initiative of the women's group MISSEFAN-AGADON, created in 1995 and composed of five members. It is located in KPANOU- KPADE in the D’AKPRO -MISSERETE community, which is a border community of the capital of Benin. This micro-project will enable the increase of production capacity of the group, the making of a profit, and the improvement of living conditions of its members.


**Ah, and there’s the rub!  It’s so easy for me to find something special….

Just had a flash.  Looking, again, at this pic and thinking of all these women sitting around, maybe probably hopefully friends, talking talking talking as they work, it reminded me of the time that my friend and I sat on her front porch shelling peas, one day, in high school, because we knew that a couple of guys we had crushes on were over at her next door neighbor's and we were hoping to have a heart-fluttering glimpse of them!

[Kay]

Well, that's a good reason!