Why are we so grumpy?

[Guest]

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[Diane R]

In case anyone worries that this sense of caring about others is gone altogether, I'd like to say here how very proud I am of my younger son.  Somehow he has an easy knack with others.  He is invariably friendly, making small-talk in lines, holding doors for others, offering to help carry things, giving up his seat on a bus, and always thanking others for their help and acknowledging the thank-you's he gets (but in somewhat typical teenager fashion, he tends to say, "No worries!" as a response instead of, "You're welcome!").  He has this easy grace, and an easy connection with others... and I guess that's good, because by appearance he might scare little old ladies who aren't so comfortable around teenaged boys.  (He's 6'6" tall, with a water polo player's physique, very long hair, and a little starter-goatee, and oh yeah he rides a motorcycle, too.) 

I'm just so proud of him for being the friendly, caring person so many of us are forgetting to be these days.  I hope this bodes well for that younger generation!

--Diane.

[KivanSteven]

I think it makes us all feel a bit better as well Diane, knowing that there are still plenty of respectful people left out there, particularly amongst the younger generation.  Thanks for the positive.

[RichardF]

According to the Happy Planet Index,    life is good in the Caribbean!  Any self-respecting U.S. college student already knew that.  

EDIT:

But seriously... 

The author of this index, the British New Economics Foundation, has some interesting and Kivaesque things to say about well-being.  For example, in their Are You Happy? pdf brochure, they say...

AN (UN)HAPPY PLANET

Those of us in the developed world are getting richer but not any happier and we’re
damaging the only planet we have in the process.

The vast majority of governments across the world measure success in terms of
economic growth, without questioning whether the relentless pursuit of ever greater GDP
is sustainable, or if it encourages individuals and communities to flourish and enjoy
truly meaningful and happy lives.

Quite simply, by defining progress in terms of material wealth and targets met, we
often neglect to measure the things that really make us happy – and what gets
measured, matters. (P. 34)
THE BARE FACTS

• People who place a high value on material goods and income are
  more dissatisfied with their lives, have poorer relationships and
  lower well-being. 87 per cent of Britons think that society today is “too
  materialistic, with too much emphasis on money and not enough on
  the things that really matter”.
  
• nef’s Happy Planet Index shows that the UK is hugely inefficient
  at converting planetary resources into well-being. Costa Ricans,
  for example, live just as long as people in the UK, report greater
  satisfaction with their lives, yet have less than half the
  ecological footprint.
  
• Sixty two per cent of people in the UK have jobs that they find too
  stressful or uninteresting.
  
• In Britain, levels of trust in other people halved since the 1950s.
  
• Mental illnesses, particularly anxiety disorders and depression,
  cause around 40 per cent of all Incapacity Benefit claims in the UK.
  
• Happy people live longer and healthier lives. People who report
  frequent happy feelings are less likely to suffer from stroke and
  cardio-vascular disease, and live up to seven years longer than those
  who are less happy. (p. 35)
  

OUR VISION

Well-being is about more than individual happiness and satisfaction – it also includes
developing as a person, being fulfilled and contributing to society – and achieving this
within our environmental limits.

At nef, we believe it is possible to lead long and happy lives without costing the earth.
The biggest barrier we face in achieving this is the way in which we currently define and
measure progress and success, on both a personal and social level. Government policy
focuses on growing the economy to enhance people’s income, but this has only a small
effect on well-being, with often devastating environmental consequences.

nef’s vision is of a society where wealth is defined and measured in terms of well-being.
This means recognising and supporting what really makes us happy – meaningful work,
time with our friends and family, creative education and a real sense of community. Only
then can we move towards a truly flourishing society.
WHAT WE'RE DOING

• Re-thinking ‘progress’
  nef is undertaking pioneering research that asks fundamental questions about how
  we view progress and consequently live our lives. Our Happy Planet Index takes a
  very different look at the wealth and poverty of nations, measuring the ecological
  efficiency with which countries deliver long and happy lives for their citizens.
  
• Developing new ways of measuring
  nef is developing and piloting new ways to measure well-being. Our work in this
  area includes designing a series of questions on personal and social well-being as
  part of the European Social Survey. This will enable comprehensive international
  comparisons of well-being to be made for the first time, across at least 25 countries.
  We are also working with some of the English Regional Development Agencies to
  develop measures that better integrate economic, social and environmental aspects
  of regional development.
  

[glenn5497]

I'm not a psychologist but I think a lot of it has to do with how we view our relationship with the world around us.  Having travelled in Asia and Africa, I found that, for the most part, the people are friendly and outgoing but I also found that these are people who are absolutely dependent on each other for their very survival. They understand that something that jeopardizes the community jeopardizes their existence and as such will go out of their way to ensure harmony in the larger community. When confronted with the choice between personal gain or community harmony, they will forgo their own interests. The fact that it is prevalent in rural areas and not so much in larger population centers would reinforce it. Also, people in third world countries are not so nearly wrapped up in individualism because they've seen that they are not very important as an individual but they are extremely important as a contributing member of the society around them. Not so much in Europe where, like the US and Canada, people are a little more self sufficient and do not view their community as their safety net against calamity. For the most part they have the resources to survive, either as an individual or as a family unit, any calamity so it gives them the luxury of being motivated more by self interest and less by social interaction. 

Here in the US you see the same dynamic to a lesser scale if you look at it from the aspect of the larger cities vs. the rural communities. When your "community" gets too large, your vision gets real narrow. 

[waywardcats]

I'm just so proud of him for being the friendly, caring person so many of us are forgetting to be these days.

--Diane.

Speaks volumes about his parents.   

[Jan & John]

I'm not a psychologist but I think a lot of it has to do with how we view our relationship with the world ....

 When your "community" gets too large, your vision gets real narrow. 

I really think that's why the ecovillages in Africa will some day be sending money our way - because they are working toward self sustaining communities - and we are just trying to get our best bang for our buck--

n'est ce pas?  jan