How do you calm nerves?

[Guest]

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[reb-mar]

How do you calm your nerves?

I recently gave two speeches/presentations for a class that I'm enrolled in.  I was ok until I got up to the front of the room and managed to get 3 sentences out of my mouth.  Then I felt like my bottom jaw started to quiver as if I was cold.  Throughout my presentation I glanced at my notes and then felt like I had to force my head up to look at my class mates. In the past I have presented lectures to as many as 80 people and have never experienced this.  The class size for the current presentation was 18 people.  Could I be more nervous in front of smaller groups?

1.  I felt well rested when I gave my speech.
2.  I was prepared, organized, and not afraid of failing.
3.  I practiced ( a lot! )
4.  I get along well with my class mates and I don't feel uneasy around them.
5.  I felt relaxed until I started speaking.
6.  I would prefer not to take any medications to relax

I know I'm not the only one with these problems.  How do you calm your nerves?  I have another presentation to give next week. Help!!!!!!   

[wthepoo]

Rebecca,

I am sorry to hear about your bad experience (you said you gave two presentations - was it like this in both cases?)  - I have experienced a similar situation at least once so I feel for you. It sounds like you did most things completely right - maybe even a little too perfect.

It is well possible that you are more nervous in front of smaller groups as you can make out individuals better - huge audiences easily become more of a blur (I have taught classes of 3 to about 100 students, and given lectures to as many as about 350/400 people, the classes with 3 to 20 people were probably the hardest ones).

My simplest and most important recommendation: breathe deeply (and slowly) a couple of times just before it's about to start (e.g. just outside the door), this is a tip from my former boss and he is absolutely right (I find) in that it works calming.

The rest really depends on "how you work" - some people need to be perfectly prepared to "function", others need a certain amount of spontaneity and suspense (= extra adrenaline) to perform best. As I rather belong to the latter group of people, I'd more or less do away with the notes (just some emergency points and anchors/catchwords on small cards) and focus on the audience right from the start - try to (seem to) look at everyone every once in a while but really focus on two to three sympathetic people whose reactions will make you feel good; possibly - if it's permitted by the format of your presentations - involve the audience with little questions, silly examples around some of them, etc.

Short of medications, I'd recommend you perhaps drink a nice mug of herbal tea in the morning - I am sure you will find a shop that is able to assist you with the selection.

How long are your presentations? What kind of materials / media are you allowed to use? Is there anything that made you particularly uneasy about this one/these ones (topic, presence of a teacher you love or hate, preceding presentations that were particularly impressive, wrong lighting, ...)?

Best wishes - and good luck, I am sure you will do much better next week -,
Wolfgang.

[reb-mar]

Here are a few more details in answering some of Wolfgang's questions.

1.  Each of the 18 people gave a 4-6 minute presentation on topics of each individuals choosing.

2.  We are required to use visual aids of our choosing.  I chose to use a Power Point.

3.  We were in a small room with white walls that were very sterile looking. (Nothing exciting)
     The area that I was in was partially dark due to the Power Point that I used.

4.  The presentations through out the day were all pretty good.  Some were better than others but all were basically good.

5.  The instructor is one of the better instructors that I've had and keeps the class moving in interesting ways.

In the past I've given presentations that ranged between 30- 45 minutes.  I was able to have more audience participation in a much larger room.
The current speeches seemed short and formal.  I had brief audience participation at the beginning of the presentation.
 
Thank you Wolfgang for sharing your experiences and suggestions.  I will put your advice to good use! 

         Rebecca 

[alan]

As one who speaks in front of groups several times per week, ranging from 2 or 3 to over 1,000 people, I concur with Wolfgang's advice. Obviously you have done everything else correctly in terms of preparation. To add a couple of points, once early on in my life someone told me to remember that no-one else in the room knows as much about what I am presenting than I do. I think that helped me to be able to speak with a greater sense of authority. The second point is that I often find the nerves come back a bit when I am in a new or unfamiliar group, especially if the group is made up of people whom I perceive to be more knowledgeable about the area that I am presenting. In cases like that, breathing definitely helps. In fact, breathing is normally a good thing.

Edit: I also somtimes find the nerves come when I am presenting in French, my second language. Don't know if this applies.

[Alaska Pack]

Dear Rebecca,

I'm not sure how helpful this will be after the great input from the two previous post, but here goes.

Breathing, breathing, and breathing as stated before, did I say breathing and deep, slow not panting.

I once was a co-chair person for a conference that was supposed to be for 200 to 300 attendees that ballooned into 800.
One of my duties was to introduce the speakers.  What calmed my nerves was seeing one of the speakers with his hands shaking like
a leaf behind the podium.  I thought wow even national speakers get nervous and he's getting paid for this, the rest of the conference went smoothly.  My point being, you are not alone.

Another thing that I find helpful whether it is a large or small audience, is to focus on the friendliest face when I look up, it makes it seem as though I am talking to more of a friend.

I like Wolfgang's idea of herbal tea!

Bernice 

[JohnR]

Rebecca, was the topic different?  If you have a passion for a subject, even though you feel calm going into the presentation, when you begin to talk about it your emotions can unexpectedly rise up and intrude.  In fact, sometimes this is when you discover you're more passionate about a subject than you thought you were.

In cases like this, you'll be alert for it and ready to quickly execute Wolfgang and Alan's techniques.

John

[JohnR]

Make that Wolfgang, Alan, and Bernice's techniques.

[wannado]

Rebecca,

I've been teaching for many years in college classes where students have to give presentations.  One thing I've noticed is that students rarely look as nervous as they feel.  Many students after their presentation have told me how nervous they were, but in most cases it isn't evident to me, or only slightly evident.  So it may be some comfort to you, and help calm your nerves a bit, to realize you're probably coming across better than you think even if you feel very anxious.

It might help to also remember that most audiences are very forgiving (comedy club audiences excepted!).   The people at your presentation will usually want you to succeed and are sympathetic to the difficulty of public speaking, as it is a huge fear that most people in the audience have themselves.  So even if you stumble a bit or show your nerves, it really isn't that big a deal.

Marsha

[Oriana]

Rebecca,
I gave plenty of speeches and participated in debates in high school, and we were very passionate about them. It felt very natural back then. Later I joined Toastmasters through my job and my first speech was to be short and about myself. I was so nervous I couldn't think straight let alone talk. It sounds to me a little like what you experienced. Not quite the same but similar. Unfortunatly what I did to calm my nerves was avoid speaking in that group again.  It worked... I do still speak at work however, and am comfortable speaking in front of higher ups in management. I always try to assume that the group will be interested in what I am saying as I am usually interested in what others are saying. Looking at one or two key people really has helped me. I agree with the idea about the herbal tea, there are some that are very relaxing!
One thing that helped me early on to avoid nerves was another student's experience. We had to write a speech from the perspective of the supporting character in a story. He choose Cinderella and was going to tell it from the perspective of the mice. He got about one sentence out and I could feel the people in the room just become facinated. He stopped. We begged for him to continue. He couldn't. We pleaded. He just couldnt. We knew what he was going to say was going to be so good just from that opening line and to this day I want to know what he wrote. Having experienced that urge to know what someone was going to say has helped me calm my own nerves so that I can say what I came to say, even if it isn't likely to be as interesting as mice.
I hope that between all of us posters you find something that helps!
Oriana

[reb-mar]

Edit: I also somtimes find the nerves come when I am presenting in French, my second language. Don't know if this applies.

This doesn't apply to me and would be quite humorous if I tried! 
On a side note, I admire anyone who can communicate in more than one language. 

Unfortunatly what I did to calm my nerves was avoid speaking in that group again.  It worked...
Oriana

After this coming presentation I will follow in your footsteps and avoid speaking in this group again. 

It might help to also remember that most audiences are very forgiving (comedy club audiences excepted!).   The people at your presentation will usually want you to succeed and are sympathetic to the difficulty of public speaking, as it is a huge fear that most people in the audience have themselves.  So even if you stumble a bit or show your nerves, it really isn't that big a deal.

Marsha

Luckily my class mates are an empathetic and sympathetic group of people.

Thank you Wolfgang, Alan, Bernice, John, Marsha, and Oriana for sharing your advice and experiences with me.  Each one of you has given me valuable insight and I will try my best to make use of it.
At the end of next week I will let you know how it went (either good or bad).

Thanks again!    Rebecca

[Antonia]

Rebecca,
I saw your request just now. Have you never heard of Bach Flower Remedies ? RESCUE REMEDY drops taken when you feel getting nervous/anxious or before the presentation will certainly help. This is not a drug - but vibrational medicine working on the subtile bodies.
For more info www.bachcentre.com There are 38 other remedies working on all human emotions. Very interesting !!!!!
Good luck,
Antonia

[cpbailey]

Take heart!  My high school friend was nervous enough that there was no mistaking her stress.  She passed out from fear.  Soooo, I guess fake it until you can make it.  If you aren't on the floor, then you are doing OK!

Colette

[reb-mar]

I made it through my presentation without having the feelings that compelled me to ask for help.  Luckily I didn't end up on the floor like Colette's friend! I drank a nice cup of "stress relief blend" tea to start my day. I think it was a combination of everyones suggestions that helped me through it! 

From the bottom of my heart, I thank everyone who gave me suggestions to help me get through this. 

Rebecca

[Wood Fairy Glenda]

YAY, REB!

[alan]

Well done, Rebecca. 

The best part is that your material got the best delivery possible, increasing its chance of being heard.

[Eli]

Woohoo!!  That must feel great!

So, did you happen to picture everyone in the audience naked?   

[Diane R]

Well done, Rebecca.  Each time now will be easier still.

--Diane.

[Alaska Pack]

 
  CONGRATULATIONS REBECCA!!!

                           


                     WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!

[Kay]

Rebecca, that's wonderful!

A long, long time ago, a friend of mine was nervous about giving a presentation in front of a large group, and what she really wanted was a drink to calm her nerves.  She figured it wouldn't be a good idea to be seen with alcohol, per se, though, so she brought along a bottle of Nyquil and took a swig of it in the restroom just before it was time for her presentation.  I think she did fine, although she was a little "subdued," I thought.  I just remember telling her she'd better wipe off that dribble of Nyquil from the corner of her mouth before she left the restroom!

I have to say, though, that while in junior high school, I took a public speaking course and lucky for us (the class), the "regular" teacher was out for a number of weeks, and we had a really excellent substitute (re-entering teaching after taking time off to have a couple of kids).  For those few weeks, each of us in the class (it was a small class of perhaps about 9) had to get up and give a short presentation every single day about the topic we were given that day.  Nothing before or since prepared me for public speaking like those few weeks with that substitute teacher, because it wasn't long before public speaking was "second nature" to all of us.

And as far as tips to combat nervousness are concerned, (sorry to add them now), we were actually told to look toward the back wall if we were nervous looking at people, and if we didn't know what to do with our hands to touch the tip of the thumb to the tip of the middle finger (on each hand).

Anyway, glad it went so well!

[JohnR]

John

[Oriana]

Yay Rebecca!!!!